As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
