I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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