Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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