I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
