we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
