I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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