Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
