so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
