Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
