all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
