Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
