Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
