And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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