he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
