What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
