maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
