I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
