How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
