Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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