ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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