just survived the first fart of the relationship.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
sex in a hospital.. check
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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