i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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