I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
