How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
