I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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