I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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