i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize