shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
