is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
