Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
