My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
