i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
