it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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