this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
