Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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