nut hugger
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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