The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just high enough for therapy.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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