WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
