Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
