Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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