What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i think my mom watched the whole time
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
