Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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