Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize