Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
