Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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