if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
