i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
