Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
