dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
