Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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