you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
