don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
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