We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
