please come you make the beer taste better
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
