Will you blow on my dice?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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