i barfeds in our rink
She announced her abortion via fbk
He kissed a someone with a penis
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
