just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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