i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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