11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
