You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
