I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
